ST PETER and St Paul's Church in Grays will play host to a special event just before Christmas when borough residents and families will remember those who have passed away after being cared for by St Luke's Hospice.

Every year at Christmas the hospice hosts a number of events across the region and a service will be held at St Peter and St Paul's on Sunday which will feature the Light up a Life dedication display for 2020.

Over recent weeks families have been invited to make a donation to the hospice to recognise a loved person who has passed away. All the dedications are posted online but a physical list also goes up at regional centres and Grays will be available to view between 4 and 5pm on Sunday, 19 December.

To mark the year end, the Light up a Life appeal and as a way of saying thanks, a family have told the story of the care offered to a family member this year.

Carol and her family first came into contact with St Luke's around this time last year when she was first admitted to the in-patient unit at Nethermayne in Basildon. Prior to this Carol was diagnosed with ovarian cancer which required major surgery and an operation had been scheduled for August 2019.

Unfortunately, complications during surgery resulted in Carol becoming very poorly and undergoing multiple further procedures. The family wanted her home, but it just wasn't possible. The risk of infection was too high and they didn't know who to turn to.

It was at this point that a referral to St Luke's Hospice was suggested and Nicki from the in-patient unit went to visit Carol in hospital. At first, her daughters Kareen and Michelle were worried. They didn't know much about the hospice and they were concerned about their mum's additional care needs as a result of the surgical complications she faced. They also had the added anxiety of Carol being worried too.

Within moments of speaking to Nicki, the family's view had changed completely. Nicki explained that the hospice teams would be able to support Carol in a multitude of ways and that her needs as an individual would always be at the centre of her care.

A couple of weeks later, Carol arrived at the unit and during her stay, staff worked hard to adjust Carol's medications to ensure that her symptoms were well managed. The hospice team of doctors and nurses provided psychological support to help Carol come to terms with both her diagnosis and the physical after effects of multiple surgeries.

Carol was also supported by the hospice physiotherapy team for her breathlessness and mobility, and she had access to complementary therapies which she really enjoyed.

The team got to know Carol and her family really well. Kareen would bring her sons along to the IPU on Fridays after school and the team would provide colouring books and games for them. Michelle had a baby during this time and often brought him to the hospice so the family could spend quality time together in a safe environment.

Carol was discharged from IPU in November and the hospice community services team continued to support her at home. Carol visited the Day Hospice regularly, taking part in diversional therapies and receiving emotional and psychological support. When the coronavirus pandemic caused the Day Hospice to close, the team still kept in touch with Carol by phone.

Following a fall and return to hospital in May 2020, Carol was readmitted to IPU for end of life care in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic. Some things had changed since Carol's previous stay.

The team were wearing PPE but they still cared for Carol and other patients with the same kindness and compassion as before. The hospice had to adapt visiting guidelines, meaning that Carol's family couldn't be with her, but when she felt well enough staff helped Carol to use Facetime to stay in touch.

Sadly Carol's condition deteriorated and she passed away at the Hospice on 10th June with both daughters by her side.

Kareen and Carol said: "What mum went through was extremely traumatic and without St Luke's Hospice's care and support her last months would have been much harder.

"Within one minute of walking into the Hospice, we loved it. Mum was treated with so much kindness – like a person, not just a patient. The team handled her needs with dignity and made us all feel safe in the knowledge that she was in the best care possible.

"We would not wish mum's journey on anyone but we hope that through reading our story other families know that they are not alone. Hospices are not only a place to say goodbye but also a place to help you live.

"Please donate to St Luke's Hospice and 'Light up a Life' this Christmas-time. Your support will mean they can be there for other families like ours."

Dedicating a donation to the memory of a loved one is one way to honour those who have passed. The hospice says: "Your donation in their name means that we could:

– Provide symptom management to someone staying on our IPU

– Provide equipment and support needed for someone to remain safe in their own home.

"Thank you so much for your support."

You can find out more about 'Light Up[ a Life' here.